the epitome...

My second child

2011-11-07T06:35:00.002+08:00

Apparently, I am so excited to see my second child. Not only because this time it is a boy but also because I am so glad that my mother, for the first time in my life, has been really nice to me all the while. She wanted me to have a baby boy and here it is now, I will have him in the next couple days. I was thinking that after a year maybe my family could settle to a better place, Singapore per se. It is safer in there and we will all have a better opportunity than here in the Philippines. I could also say goodbye to my cc collector in less than 2 years with such a salary. *hehehe* Anyway, I feel so stressed in the past few days especially now that midterms is coming. I have to really strive hard to finish my degree and have a better future for my family. Hmn... Lord, thank You for all the blessings! :)

Venting out...

2011-03-22T07:09:00.005+08:00

It's sunny in the morning and it rains hard in the evening. How can I not get sick with the weather? This cough and colds make me stay in bed for more than 10 hours. What's annoying is that I can't kiss my daughter. She's taking medications too before I did. Now I have to play with her outside her crib while she cries for me to carry her and I just can't. I took the day off before my days off so I can rest for a couple days. This month is really tiring.

I almost forgot I need a new pair of glasses but my contact lenses suit me well. And I have to be practical. A pair of glasses will cost me P3,500 or more for 6 months to a year. That's really out of budget. And this credit card company really gets in to my nerve. How come they don't allow me to pay in installment for 2 years? I think I'm the only person who runs after a bank just to get my bills settled and they are just not satisfied with the big interest they got from me since last year. Not yet. They still want more from me. Well I just can't pay the interest!!! It's too high! I just need my bills paid!!! This is really frustrating... I want to break free!

After my labs' birthday...

2010-12-21T08:31:00.012+08:00

Before our dear Mikhaila's first birthday everything is a chaos. From the budget to the venue and the never ending argument with the costumes and all. It just seemed to be disorganized and impossible. But what can I say? It was an absolute success. From the costume to the guests, the mascot, and the gifts. Though I have to say that Mcdonald's Buendia is not that organized when it comes to distributing foods as I had to take the tray of foods from the waiters and distribute it by myself. Well, it's not that obvious. I just looked like I was an entertaining mom. Anything for Mikhaila. :)

She had a lot of gifts. Most of it are clothes. Very nice clothes she can wear until the next 6 months. LOL! And many toys too! :) I love the snoring baby. Just like my Mikhaila when she was on her first 3 months. Dear, I can't wait for her 7th birthday! I'll make sure it will be more organized and more enjoyable. Plus, there will surely be a lot of foods too. And of course, more kids from Mikhaila's Grade School. :) And... OUR FAMILY AND EXTENDED MEMBERS OF OUR FAMILY. :)

Just adding a spice to your life :P

2010-08-03T15:40:00.006+08:00

Cisco is one of the most special friends I have. He is my husband's high school partner in crime. And I have to say that the chemistry between the two never fades. He can easily make you laugh with his simple punchlines like when I asked how his lovelife was and he answered, "parang coke lang minsan light, ngayon zero". I never get bored with every conversation we have because he is so light that all you need to do is hang yourself to him and he'll carry you all the way. Really not a trying hard person and he won't do anything to please you. It's 'automatic' as they say.

If you'll ask why am I writing this, the answer is because my best friend is going to write about my matchmaking hobby on her blog and she'll definitely nail my fingers on my phone so before that happens I better justify my actions. *haha* What happened is... Yesterday my bestfriend slept on our house and she kept on mentioning her ex boyfriend, her one month beauty plans, and her future plans which is still 'under construction'. Yes. So I talked to Cisco this afternoon and asked about his life, lovelife in particular and I got the answer on the first paragraph. Then it came to me that he could probably be my bestfriend's friend. Anyway, both of them will get along just fine and I know they will be good friends too. I asked him if he could sms my bestfriend so they could get to know each other. It's not my intention to match them. I mean, that was not the first thing I thought of. But as I speak with Cisco I felt like there's this voice echoing in my head saying "they'll be a perfect match". They have many things in common, martyrdom per se. *hehehe* I told my bestfriend about it and her reply goes this way "bez, ibblog ko to binebenta mo ko...". It was really fun reading her message as if she'll create a suicide letter asking the police to catch me by the time they found her body. Lovely! (Did I just write Lovely?!!) These fingers want to remind me something... something really... bad?!!

Going back... Now that I'm done writing how wonderful Cisco is my pointer is ready to press on the publish key and have my bestfriend read this before she make any violent reactions on her blog. What a month! *smirk*

For my very special one...

2010-07-22T12:24:00.001+08:00

I just got my daughter a life insurance! This month's the start of our 5 year AXA Life contract and I'd be paying it quarterly in a year. Another reason for me to save money and stop shopping for those unnecessary tops, jeans, bags, shoes, bikinis (this has a lot of reasons though), accessories and the like. Apparently, this will be very difficult. VERY DIFFICULT. So my husband's very glad I had to cut off these vices and I can imagine him standing on our front door wearing that BIG TEASING SMILE. I'd like to hide his shoes so he too would feel that his expenses are almost the same as mine. I haven't even got a brand new shoes that came from my own salary. I had to ask my aunt to buy it for me as I have all the reasons in the world to get an award and all those blah blah blah things I had to say. I'm disappointed in a way that I never imagined how this change would make a difference in my life. THIS LIFE is really DIFFERENT. And I know that some things which are different may oftentimes be DIFFICULT and this is one of them.
However; in so many ways I feel incomparably happy with my life. This life means more to me now than what I thought. It's crazy I had to rush things when I was single and then now, I had to put everything in to consideration, I mean everything including the people who are not related to us. Why is that? And the mere fact that I cared more for the young ones, the poor, and the abandoned, I became really emotional and I guess sensitive with my hubby in half-a-negative way. :)
Eventually, I became mature. Yes, I did. And for all the people who thinks they're tough, better think again. I was NEVER soft-spoken in my life but when I got married, I learned all the sweetness in this world, arguement is an exception by the way, in few ways. It's normal. :P
Going back, I am really excited to pursue this new investment that I have. I pray that this would be a very great help to my family in the near future most especially to my daughter. Mikhaila. I pray that the Lord will bless her always. :)

Admin Hearing = 15 days Suspension

2010-05-19T10:12:00.000+08:00

9:52 AM 5/19/2010

Last Wednesday we had an admin hearing and I was really prepared to answer all their questions and prove that I should not be dealt with administratively. First offence is equal to dismissal and I have to prove that I should not be terminated. They asked me if it's the first time I did it and I replied with 'NO'. Yes, I said NO, and if first offence calls for a termination, what more in my situation? I just guess honesty will make everything clearer and lighter if you look at the brighter side of it. Oh well I'll be suspended for 15 days from that day.

And hey, today is Wednesday, to my convenience I was able to stay a week longer than expected. Good for me and my salary. :P And here comes 'tonight', papers are ready and everything will take effect on this night. Good thing I had a sale this morning, I could atleast contribute to my team for this week.

The next days will be a total rest. NO WORK. NO AVAYAs. NO HEADSETS. NO DISORGANIZED COMPUTERS. STRESS FREE. NO NIGHT TAXIs.

Welcome vacation!!! Mommy, Fiza, Mahak, JV. Hello Baby Kaila! I love this life despite it's flaws. I love my life. I love my GOD!!! :)

Thank You!

10:04 AM 5/19/2010

My daughter's Dedication day!

2010-04-19T19:42:00.002+08:00

This is one of the happiest events I've ever organized in my life, my daughter's dedication. Just like her ninong's comment, "Parang family reunion". Yes it's MOST LIKELY our family reunion. I prayed to have a family gathering one of these days but it's close to impossible I know. Anyway, I believe everyone enjoyed the party. I hope one day my mom and my uncle will be together in one event "kahit walang pansinan okay lang" but hopefully not in one of the family member's death. Naman! In time, it will happen.

Mikhaila Gem's Christening

2010-03-21T06:56:00.005+08:00

You are all invited to join us as we celebrate Mikhaila Gem's Eucharistic Dedication. Please shoot me an email at crysz27_visions@yahoo.com or send me an SMS at +639273699733 or +639222479123.

-honey balbago
-katherine uy
-sheryl meneses
-heide rariza
-yara querubin
-jane quidor
-grizzel parco
-kriztina penaranda
-zong ling li
-jennifer quijano
-roxanne quintong
-camile perez
-donna edralin
-cheyenne guasa
-ivy kua
-mikee dasig
-justine catambay
-joanne dasig
-jannel joyce ramos
-cindy bolivar
-janet oliver
-aileen santos
-hershel matibag
-amy vargas
-heidee corriente
-jean flores
-jhomellie caygan
-maricon sadian
-amem villanueva

-menard perez
-nathan caronongan
-sherwin sola
-fernando tampil
-richard junquera
-steve de vera
-peter leosala
-leif john dela rosa
-jerome torres
-ryan vargas
-jewel villanueva
-gary zuguitan
-edgardo catbagan
-luis agor
-glen mirales
-francisco almorado
-harrison galang
-victor sto. domingo
-vicar dizo
-ryan rustia
-tyrone chua
-ian john dasig
-john evan ramos
-charles choa
-revo tabor
-efren tigas
-kevin mariano

map going to GSBC (Good Samaritan Baptist Church) and Jollibee Taft

2010-03-21T06:49:00.002+08:00

* You may click on the picture to see a larger image.

My family

2010-02-18T14:51:00.004+08:00

For the past years, I have never imagined having a very simple and wonderful life. Now, I have had a taste of what they call "dream come true". A daughter with a beautiful smile and a husband who supports me all the time. Though for some reason I cannot stop myself from being jealous with his past girlfriends, I get to feel the love and care no other man has ever shared to me. And though there may be times my mannerism, which is sarcasm attacks, he's still very understandable of it. I call it mannerism not a hobby. *hehehe* I feel loved and well taken cared of. I feel blessed and that a big fortune has come my way, my own family. I owe this all to Him. Without Him, I am nothing, we are nothing. I was given so much of a blessing that I could no longer contain it and all I can do is thank Him everyday for these gifts. Anyway, I have been thanking Him everyday as I wake up every morning and see my daughter's face smiling at me.:)

At long last...

2010-01-14T00:09:00.004+08:00

At last I was able to visit my blog again. Grabe ang stress na dala ng pagbubuntis. You would want to sleep all the time. Lagi kang inaantok. Lagi ka ring puyat especially when I'm on my 8th month. My baby would not want to sleep. Lagi na lang siyang gumagalaw sa loob parang gustong gusto niya nang lumabas. Thank God I was able to normally deliver her. The only time I felt the pain and fear was when I was about to give birth. That may be less than an hour before the actual time of deivery. WALANG LABOR. Isang sipa lang niyang malakas at pagkatapos natakot na ako dahil baka may sumunod pang mas masakit. Buti na lang wala. *hahaha* Sa sobrang takot kong masaktan at mahirapan sa paglalabas sa kanya nagmamakaawa na ako sa doctor na inject-an ako ng painless para lang hindi ko maramdaman. Ang mabait ko namang doctor, hindi pumayag. Nakikita na daw kasi niya ang hair ni baby at pwede niya nang i-braid kaya no choice ako kung hindi umire kahit super sakit. And VOILA! Nailabas na si baby Kyla.

I named her after the famous anti-MILEY of Hannah Montana, Mikhaila, and the lovely lady in transformers. Cute hindi ba? *hehe* She weighs 7.12 lbs. after delivery and she's healthy, very healthy. Thank You Lord! She's quiet (sa NICU lang) pero pagdating sa bahay, she's super crybaby. Laging gustong nasusunod ang gusto at nagmamadali pa ha. *sigh* But I love her so much! I feel very blessed and I pray that God will continue to bless us. Again, mllions of thanks to Him.

stressed.

2009-11-04T08:42:00.005+08:00

Marriage is not just something that binds you and your other half together to a long lasting relationship. Instead, it's a lifetime covenant with God, something that is Holy, something that you should keep and take good care of. And in my case, I want to believe it that way, but my husband is an absolute proof of the word 'otherwise'. '...otherwise, you'll end up being this...'

Something inside me has changed after getting married. I guess, it's my way of thinking. First, I stood positive at almost 3/4 of the time, most especially when I believed in him when I knew all along that he was lying and he has no idea how hurt I am inside to keep what I know just to avoid our multiple fights. Second, I tried to understand all his demands. Being the head of the family, the pressure that my family has put into him, the workload, the future. Though he speaks too much and I do want to tell him how stressful it is for me to listen to his cheerful nags, I pretty much understood that at the end of the conversation, it will still appear that it was me who spoke 3/4 of the time and it was him who listened to what I have said. Well, I have made it very unnoticeable that even I would want to think that's what had really happened. And the rest of the time? That's when we're both trying to calm one another. Third, I supported him in everything he does. The vices, per se, are those I can NEVER get hold of. If he asked permission to smoke and I said NO, he'll hide somewhere and smoke. If I said YES, he'll have it twice or maybe thrice. If he asked permission to drink and I said NO, he'll get a better chance, a good timing, after work, and he'll tell me he took OVERTIME and will be late for 4 hours. If I said YES, he'll enjoy at least 2-3 drinking sessions a week, (excluding the time he asked for permission) wherein his days off lie on two of those days. And our bonding? When he gets drunk, I'll tell him stories I know he wouldn't understand just to make him sleep and not to go back to his friends and drink again. We honestly have no time for bonding. At first, I do mind, but now that I feel that it doesn't matter to him, neither does it matter to me.

He's been patient to me all along. I get to have enough sleep when he doesn't. I get to stay in bed or watch tv while he does the chores. All of those were very much appreciated. And what's not good is that we're different. On his birthday celebration, I cooked a special dish for him. Something I haven't tried before. Though it tasted good, he didn't bother to even have a taste of it. I do not know what he's up to. The second time around, I washed the dishes, did the chores for him, cooked food, prepared his breakfast, everything which will lead him to think that I'm starting to be a bit more of the responsible type of wife, the wife-material as they say. But at the end of it, all efforts are useless.

If there are no television or anything I could look in to or enjoy, I'd probably be one of those people who make friends with their furnitures at home. Oh well, we don't have lots of them. Thanks!

I sometimes wish he'd never see me for a week so he'd realize how boring it is not to have a social life, how hard it is to be a wife, and keep the family together.

weird news

2009-07-09T15:00:00.002+08:00

Since I am feeling bored during office hours especially during 'avail' moments and getting too lazy during the 'queuing' hours, I considered 'browsing the other websites' which is restricted in our office as one of my weird hobbies nowadays. :) And today, I found lots of weird news online. Check these out!

Lead Story

A 48-year-old immigrant from Malta regularly hangs out in various New York City bars, but always on the floor, so that he can enjoy his particular passion of being stepped on. "Georgio T." told The New York Times in June that he has delighted in being stepped on since he was a kid. While one playmate "wanted to be the doctor, (another) wanted to be the carpenter ... I would want to be the carpet." Nowadays, he carries a custom-made rug he can affix to his back (and a sign, Step on Carpet) and may lie face-down for several hours if the bar is busy. He is also a regular at "high foot-traffic" fetish parties, where dozens of stompers (especially women in stilettos) can satisfy their own urges while gratifying Georgio. [New York Times, 6-14-09]

Ironies

Sexual Confusion: Researchers from the University of British Columbia nursing school reported in December that lesbian and bisexual high school girls are seven times more likely to get pregnant than other girls. A leading hypothesis is that those girls may try to disguise their sexual identity by uninhibited heterosexual behavior. [Vancouver Sun, 12-16-08]

Compelling Explanations

Marcella Rivera said the last she heard was that her soldier-husband, William Rivera, would try to reconcile with her and their five children when he got back from Iraq, but then her mother saw a TV program on returning soldiers that showed William being married to another woman. Marcella pressed a bigamy charge in Independence, Mo., but prosecutors dropped it in May after William convinced them that "post-traumatic stress disorder" suffered in Iraq had made him forget that he was married. [KCTV (Kansas City), 5-20-09]

The Weirdo-American Community

Dean Mark, 53, was arrested at Whittell High School in Zephyr Cove, Nev., in June, for trespassing. Three students had reported encountering Mark a short distance from the school, nude, tied to a large rock, and asked if he wanted to be untied. According to the police report, Mark declined but then a few minutes later appeared fully clothed on the school grounds. [Tahoe Daily Tribune, 6-11-09]

Least Competent Criminals

In April, police in Fayetteville, N.C., were seeking a pregnant woman who walked into a Carter Bank & Trust branch with a handgun and demanded cash. As a clerk was taking money out to give to her, she received a call on her cell phone, and the conversation became so intense that she ignored the money and walked out of the bank empty-handed, still talking. [Fox News-AP, 4-22-09]

A News of the Weird Classic

In September 1992 in Chicago, Frank D. Zeffere III filed a lawsuit for $40,000 in lost dating expenses against a woman who had broken off their engagement. However, Zeffere, who is a lawyer, wrote her an offer of an out-of-court settlement, beginning with, "I am still willing to marry you on the conditions hereinbelow set forth," and ending, "Please feel free to call me if you have any questions or would like to discuss any of the matters addressed herein. Sincerely, Frank." [Los Angeles Daily News-AP, 9-30-92]

When I read these stories, I felt crazy inside. Not because these are crazy but because I can't share it with others especially that Harry, one of the 'bosses' on the floor comes to work before 4pm. :)

fun. fun. fun. and a lot more fun.

2009-07-08T13:29:00.004+08:00

I got this from horoscope.com. It's fun! *haha*

LOVE COMPATIBILITY:

Scorpio & Pisces

'Sensitive and instinctive, Scorpio and Pisces have a mutual affinity only rarely encountered in the zodiac. They may be devoted to one another body and soul; their love is erotic, all-encompassing, and often unique. A gaze speaks volumes of poetry, and intuition replaces reason. Their magical bond is immune to everything except Scorpio's jealousy. If it looms, Pisces will dart away on the first wave. He or she loathes ugly emotional confrontations, and this feeling is stronger than his or her passionate love for the Scorpio.'

MY LIFE PATH NUMBER: (Month + Day + Year of Birth)

Feb. 27, 1987 (2/27/1987)

2+2+7+1+9+8+7=36(3+6)=9

Guide:

A double number must be separated and added.

MY EXPRESSION NUMBER: (First Name + Last Name)

Kristian Nhel Espiritu

2+1+1+1+2+1+1+5+5+8+5+3+5+1+7+1+1+1+2+3=56(5+6)=11(1+1)=2

Note:

Do not count Sr., Jr., I, II, III, etc...

Guide:

A, J, S = 1
B, K, T = 2
C, L, U = 3
D, M, V = 4
E, N, W = 5
F, O, X = 6
G, P, Y = 7
H, Q, Z = 8
I, R = 1

JAPANESE PRONUNCIATION

Kristian Nhel is pronounced as Kurisuchiannheru in Japanese.

for someone who wishes to have a happy ending in her fairy tale world...

2009-07-05T12:43:00.005+08:00

I read it again. It's been quite a while since she last posted an entry on her blog. I can still remember the days when she's grieving for his death. His death, not being literal, is the most painful thing for her. Sometimes, I wish it had happened earlier, maybe during our prom night, or before she even fell for him so it wouldn't be that difficult for her to stand it.

That girl, that's what I always called her, the reason for his death, and my friend's grief, has been a very familiar face to me. That treacherous face hiding behind an innocent front has left a mark on my consciousness, bewitching every person nearing her and making them believe in her sweet words and conservative looks. How much more could I be thankful to have sensed her deviousness despite her inviting aura?

My girl, who I pity the most, had been acting very unpredictable for the past 4 years leaving me no choice but to wait for the result of her actions and so far she hasn't made any wrong move. NO. Not yet. And I'm afraid she'll only get hurt again when she found that someone to replace him in her heart. Awful. I see her as someone very vulnerable yet her reaction towards his death is very alarming which is a total contradiction of her amiable personality. Even someone very dangerous would be threatened to pull her strings. And I do admire her, really, for having the will to move on despite seeing them together every Sunday. That's a total torture for me. Sundays with them, the two masked icons on our church!

At first, I felt very hesitant to write this as this might just bring back her lonely past. Yet, I feel very calm to express my feelings and opinion. I have experienced the same thing before and it really crushed my heart. I even had a guy fall for me so I could divert all my attention to him, yet I ended up with the same person who broke my silence, now, my better half. So I'm always praying for that someone to find her so they could be together at long last. It would be great to hear her speak of their happy ending.

Apparently, ever since I was a child I believe in fairy tales, where the prince comes to rescue her princess, and in the famous script 'and-they-lived-happily-ever-after'. And I can tell that my life is an evidence of its existence.

after the check-up

2009-07-02T16:13:00.006+08:00

According to my OB-Gynecologist, the fetus is 18 weeks and 2 days old yesterday. I just had my monthly pre-natal check-up and I felt very relieved of what she said. According to her, the baby is very lively, she can't properly hear the heartbeat due to a continuous somatic movement. She said it was a good sign despite of having a 'lower-than-normal' blood count. I am quite pressured of having a stable blood count as I am used to being anemic ever since I was a teen despite of the medications I'm taking. Until now, I'm still having the same medication, err... I mean, same medicine, higher intake. I noticed an increase in my appetite from week 12 and though I haven't experienced the dilemma of the first trimester's symptoms, 2nd trimester's symptoms are slowly manifesting. I can't wait for next month's pre-natal check-up as the ultrasound can already detect whether the fetus is a girl or a boy. However, I was thinking that they might not see it as the baby is zealously active. Anyway, I now know why I feel really languid these past few weeks. :P

Changes...

2009-06-09T14:23:00.004+08:00

Early in April, I have learnt that I was already bearing a child for a month. It was so sudden that I cannot believe it would happen. I was never afraid of having a child until I realised that there is one inside my tummy. I was not convinced with the PT result. I did it once and was afraid to do it again as the result might not change. And even though I obviously notice the enlargement of my stomach, I am not as excited as my friends who notice it. I got a bit excited and nervous of my relatives' reactions when they heard me say the word 'pregnant'. And worse, the words 'I AM' with eyes looking down and palms sweating real thick. It was really unbelievable. I had just finished my last course and have so many plans in mind. I never thought of having a child at a very young age. Neither did I think of getting married at the age of 22. I even answer surveys online where in it fictitiously depicts the right age and time for you to get married and bear a child and it often states that I will get married at the age of 25-27 and will bear a child at 25-28. And that is 3-6 years away from reality.

When my parents knew that I am pregnant, they asked me to marry my boy friend. I felt awkward towards it. Not the marriage thing but the marriage due to some sort of alien growing inside me. Yes, I called my baby an alien for as of then I am not quite sure if it is really a child that is growing inside me or some kind of an ovarian disease that's enlarging my stomach until I had my first ultrasound for my pre-natal check up. It was there. Moving spontaneously. Alive. That is the only time I appreciated the living thing inside me. I had tears in my eyes and more disbelief on what I saw. I can see it clearly. It is real. And it is a child. My child. I do not know what to say to the radiologist when she smiled at me and said 'it seems like you cannot believe on what you are seeing right now'. Really. I felt ashamed of myself. I was thinking that if my child only heard the things I called him/her before I knew that s/he is really existing inside me, s/he would never want me as his/her mother. Good thing s/he did not hear even a single word I have said. Now, I am really happy that there's a life growing inside me. I cannot explain my feelings right now. I got really excited to show the result of the ultrasound to my husband. I want to show him how the baby looks like at 14 weeks and 5 days. It is already in shape and just waiting for the right moment to complete the tissues and organs. And though I only saw his/her shadow, I still am very excited to take care of him/her.

And now that I have my own family, I am looking forward to changes and what life has to offer.

random things about me.

2009-02-23T22:37:00.004+08:00

4 more days and I'm already 22. I am wondering what else could happen to me here in Singapore. I feel so unlucky graduating at a very problematic year. *hehe* I feel so blessed to have finished my schooling though. (with good grades of course :P)

Yesterday my aunt bought me a bag for my birthday. It's the small rectangular black bag I've always wanted to buy. It wasn't expensive but I'm saving funds for more important things that's why I wasn't able to buy it for myself. I'm not really thringy. In fact, I'm kind of impulsive especially when I see books, I feel like it's begging me to buy it. *haha*

Today, I learnt that lesser foreigners are being hired due to the decline in the economy. At first, I felt really sad as I had just finished my schooling and waiting for my diploma. But after speaking to Him, I felt better.

I'm just worried about akin for now. He said he'll be online around 8pm but until now there's no sign of him. Anyway, he's always late. I just hate it when he's not sending me a message. I really am a jealous person and I don't like this attitude. It's not innate. And I hope I still can change it. He saw me in a different light and I'm glad he did.

I'm coming home!!! :)

2008-12-28T20:10:00.003+08:00

I'm going back to Philippines on the 27th of January 2009. Hmn... After studying for more than a year here in Singapore, I will have my most awaited vacation for 3 months before I enter the world of the antisocials. *haha* WOW! I'm so excited! After my vacation, I'm listing 7 countries aound the globe to visit. Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Europe, Antarctica???, Australia. This is it. I'm starting to plan for my future. Hmn... But for now, Philippines... here I come!!! :)

the battle has started

2008-12-04T00:19:00.003+08:00

I wasn't able to visit my blog for a long time as I'm preoccupied with so many things. As they usually say, 'I'm trying to win life's battle'. And though I'm still on the first stage, I believe I was able to hit my opponents and will soon be escalating to the next level. I don't have much to write as of now. I'm trying to regain all the strength I've lost. And planning about my next move as there's one person I know, should not be my opponent and yet, is battling against me.

On the other hand, I've won one of the most precious stones in this world. And that one suffices me and supercedes everything.

MMC [Britney, Christina, Justine]

2008-11-23T14:43:00.003+08:00

I found this video at youtube.com when I was browsing the site. Mickey Mouse Club is today's Disney Channel where they feature uprising stars and future pioneer media entertainers. This video features Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Justine Timberlake in the late 80's. It's so cute and amazing. Watch this!

ME in my workplace.

2008-11-21T22:38:00.002+08:00

This is the result of my personality test when I was signing up for a job agent account. I'm a little confused with some interpretations, however, I think it is of 85% accuracy. Well, this doesn't actually sum up my personality but it gives you an idea of how I am in a work place. I won't say it's lackadaisicalness. Let's put it this way, I feel that attitude whether it's good or bad may be contagious. I follow with all my heart and mind if the person is worth it. I'm not encouraged by any extrinsic motivation or external factors, however, I learn by will and not by fear.

At a Glance

• Does not like too many work demands, prefers to work at own pace.

• Empathetic, understanding, helpful and supportive.

• Outgoing and likes the company of people.

• Faithful, trustworthy and devoted in long-term relationships.

• Not concerned with rank, title or position.

• Sees people as nice and friendly, not comfortable to wheel and deal.

• Less expressive verbally.

While at Work

Putting in a lot of effort to meet the demands of work is not Ms espiritu's preference. She does not like to rush around doing things and may feel demotivated if work constantly encroaches on her personal life. Although she does not like excessive work demands, Ms espiritu may still be prepared to put in extra effort if it is on a short term basis.

Ms espiritu is relatively dependable to deliver results on time. She may sometimes be late in meeting deadlines.

Ms espiritu generally will persist with work until it is completed but may at times not complete her tasks.

Ms espiritu is able to produce work that is moderately high in quality but she may at times be careless.

Ms espiritu is generally objective but may at times be emotional.

Ms espiritu is sympathetic and considerate towards others. She is also likely to be tolerant, understanding and forgiving. Ms espiritu lends support and offers help readily. She often lends a listening ear to others and is concerned about their welfare. She is also charitable.

Ms espiritu is friendly and outgoing. She enjoys the company of her friends and is not shy or awkward when meeting people for the first time. As an extrovert, she fits well into the social groups. She is approachable and likes to make new friends.

Ms espiritu is the sort of person who forms long term bonds and attachments. She is faithful, trustworthy, and devoted in such relationships. She tends to be trusting, dedicated and protective towards those she loves. Patriotism and sense of duty is a significant aspect of her character.

Ms espiritu is moderately serious about her responsibilities and selectively takes ownership of her work.

Ms espiritu does not care much about how people view her or whether they respect her or not. She focuses on what she wants to do for herself. She is unconcerned with issues of ranks, positions or titles. Status symbols are unimportant for her. She does not draw attention to herself and dresses moderately and simply.

Ms espiritu sees people as friendly, reliable and honest. She is trusting and believes what people say. She tends to be unsuspecting of people.s behaviour and motives. She is uncomfortable when she has to wheel and deal.

Ms espiritu's leadership qualities are moderate and she is sometimes able to get the support of people.

Ms espiritu is as keen to explore abstract concepts when the topic appeals to her and she is as interested to discuss theoretical issues as the average person.

Ms espiritu puts in effort to plan ahead some of the times. She may at times not be as detailed in her planning.

Ms espiritu is not an expressive person and may have difficulty expressing her ideas, thoughts or plans. Her language ability may not be strong and she could be described as a person of few words.

Ms espiritu is generally able to tolerate some uncertainty although she would be uncomfortable if uncertainty or changes increase.

Summary

You have received this report because you have completed your Personality Profiling on JobsCentral. You may or may not understand the information fully. However do take a moment to reflect bearing in mind that your decisions are based on these sub-dimensions. This report can help you understand yourself better once you start making use of the information. You can contact C-VAT at enquiries@c-vat.com for further assistance on interpreting this report. Consultation fees applies.

WORK RELATIONS
A Hard Work 9 D Affection 14
B Time 11 E Empathy 16
C Finish Job 14 F Sociability 17
P Good Work 13 G Loyalty 18

CONTROL THOUGHT
H Dominance 14 L Abstraction 15
I Status 8 M Planning-Organizing 12
J Politics 5 N Exposition 8
K Leadership 15 O Tolerance Ambiguity 11

exercise your brain and eyes

2008-11-11T18:42:00.019+08:00

I'm fond of looking for materials which interest me but i seldom find a good one as good is rare. Today, my brother sent me a graphical comment on one of my online accounts. At first, I'm thinking of what could be the catch in this graphic. It might be that there really aren't any black dots or all may be black dots so I looked closer and was able to see that the black boxes influence the white dots in between each box. The longer you look at each dot, the darker the others become. Optical Illusion. This proves that things become what you think they are. Here are some interesting photos. Enjoy.

the memory is gone

2008-11-09T21:47:00.003+08:00

I'm so sad to have lost my phone. Most of the memorable pictures are on the memory card and the songs I've kept for years. I just feel so bad until now. Losing my phone is like losing my aunt's trust to me as it was once hers. And another thing, the sim card is postpaid and registered under her name. I'm wondering how to block it and get a new one when she's no longer here in Singapore. I'm dead meat, really. Another thing, I don't have my bible with me. Thank God He's omnipresent. I don't need anything to give Him my message. He's always with me everywhere I go as long as my heart is intact with my body.

my world, a small world.

2008-10-27T13:44:00.011+08:00

I am shocked. Yes I am. I did not expect to see him here. He was nearing the bench where I am sitting when she called him. He looked surprised to see her running towards him. And then she kissed him. She kissed him as if she had not seen him for a century. He still looked blank while she was talking. She has a pretty smile. Her thin small lips are coated with red lip gloss making it look natural and match her rosy cheeks. Her curly long hair is neatly clipped back leaving a stretch of long bangs in front. Her eyes are as blue as the sky sparkling at the ray of the streetlights. No wonder he liked her. The bus came and she waved him godbye as she made her way inside. He is still looking at her with a plain smile.

As the bus went on he started walking again to my direction. I looked on the opposite side and pretended not to see him. I jumped at my feet wanting to leave when a voice reverberated in my ears. He called me. But I did not look back. I pretended not to hear him and continued walking but he called me again. And there was a sudden quickening of heartbeat. I felt cold all over. My palms are sweating and my eyes are teary. I did not want to return but I heard footsteps running hastily while shouting my name out loud which caught everyone's attention. Then he grabbed my arms and held me back so I would face him. I was embarrassed and I felt crying but I thought that it is not the right place and time to burst into tears.

He surely is here. I have not seen him for so long. We lost contact since we separated. And now, I am thinking of the right words to start a conversation with him. A plain conversation. But then I thought it would be better to let him speak first and listen to what he has to say. My heart wanted to melt at the sight of him. He is still the same. He walks the same. He smiles the same. But he looks better now. He has a neat hair cut that emphasized his expressive eyes and heart-shaped face. He then let go of my arms apologetically and kept his hands aback. 'Where have you been' he said nervously. 'I am about to go home from work' I replied coldly. At that very moment words are not properly assembling in my mind. My hands felt burning and wanting to strangle him. I remembered the time when I am still so much inlove with him. I am unable to confide to anyone as I am afraid of their criticisms. My heart is in a dire condition, fighting for what it thought was right though meaningless. I am seeking peace but this is where peace has brought me, right in front of him with a breath away from each other.

I am too busy reminiscing the past when he wrapped his arms around me and tears just won't stop falling down my cheeks. I missed him. I always miss him. I do not know how it happened but it seemed that all my anger was taken away with just one hug. I know I loved him and might still be loving him but I also know that I will only get hurt again if I let my emotions take over. Without saying a word I got off his arms and stepped back. Fortunately, the bus I am riding is only a few meters away from where I am standing. I wiped my tears and ran back to the bus stop which I have just left to avoid him. I did not look back though at the back of my mind I was wishing that he would follow. It is impossible. He will never do such a thing. He is a total egotist. And the chances of him letting go of his pride is as low as the sun when it sets.

a different her

2008-10-24T15:40:00.003+08:00

This post is dedicated to my best friend, Grizzel.

In the past years I've been with her I haven't seen such a threatening personality. Hence, she's a loving, sweet, and caring lady who only cares about singing, studying, and teaching. We used to sing, play the piano and guitar, and go to church together until she met her special someone. Though it often sinks in to us that their pairing wasn't that acceptable by the public we supported them. Not giving her much ado, she still got hurt. Hurt which is not even meant for her. He's very akin to a sheep but if it hadn't been for my best friend I might never befriend him.

Until the time my best friend confided about her heartaches and sacrifices have I been able to understand her attitude towards him. The question 'How was she able to carry on?' have been cornered on my mind without being able to ask her as she seemed to be freaking out anytime but she was able to handle it. And seriously, I thought she's going to blow when she saw him with the girl. I really pity her that moment. She kept all the rage against them inside and cried for several months until she finally accepted her defeat. She's been battling with her emotions for so long. And I feel very bad being the only person to know all these things yet I haven't had much time to help her move on.

Years have passed and she's still the same. Until I read her blog which surprised me. She's found a place to vent out all her grudges. Her words are full of subdued anger which I guess is the contrary of her blog 'cake and chocolate'. She sounded crushed with her description about herself. That's why I believe that there's no better cure to heartaches but venting out. She loved him so much but they betrayed her . She was deceived by someone she trusted most and a girl whom she thought was a sister to her. I can't blame her. She might not have been the best girlfriend but I'm certain that she gave all her best to make things work. It's just that 'it takes two to tango'.

I had just talked to her on the phone yesterday and she sounded very happy and excited for her upcoming graduation. I'm glad she's moved on. She's been through a lot of things herself and standing still. I salute her. She's one of the bravest person I've known. And truly, a well-educated and matured daughter of God.

my very best friend.

2008-10-16T15:06:00.009+08:00

Since I went to Singapore, I didn't have the chance to see my best friend, Mile. And I missed her so much. That's why I just want to share the scrap blog which I've made for my beb's birthday last 14th of October.

I hope this one works as I've sent her a lot but nothing worked so I gave her the username and password. haha.

so bored-just reminiscing...

2008-10-11T17:19:00.008+08:00

It's Saturday and boredom occupies the place I'm at. I'm just listening to music while reminiscing.

Way back 2004, I'm very glad that at last I'm done with my high school years and about to enter the 'real world'-college. Even at first I already know that I want to be a lawyer but there's someone stopping me from achieving my dream, for my own sake. I then took Educational Psychology as I love kids and I'm still hoping that one day my mom's mind would change, that I could still be a lawyer someday. I thought my preference will still be the same, that I'll forever desire to be a lawyer. But as time passed, my priorities and interests became different. My inclinations started to vary.

Late 2007 I decided to continue my studies here in Singapore. Universities won't accept me as I don't have SAT (Secondary Achievement Test) results. It didn't cross my mind that it would be very essential for my studies. Since there's nothing I can do to be accepted in the university at that moment, I decided to take a diploma class near our place. It's going well. I'm learning new things, I met new faces and the best of all, I found the best buddies I could ever have here in Singapore.

I'm so glad to have them in my life and just so thankful that the best things in life are free.

music: with you

2008-10-06T19:08:00.008+08:00

It's past 7 in the evening and I still am not having my dinner. I tried to finish recording this song which I made years ago. I just thought of posting it here. It's one of my favorite compositions. I made it whole-heartedly for my special One. He's there when I needed Him and He never left me in the most depressing hours of my life. I owe everything to Him. Whoever knows Him must be very proud to have known Him. And must be very happy to have Him in their lives.

The song is entitled 'with you'.

Please bear with me. My voice isn't that good for now and I'm about to lose it as I just had a videoke session with my friend. But I still do hope that you'll be mesmerized by this song. :)

with you - krissy

With You

He said that I am weak yet I am strong I'm moving on
He made me cry a lot yet I stood up from falling hard
Some things are meant to be when you're with me I'm moving far
I know it's hard to make it but I have to look deep inside my heart

I'm falling harder, got me stumbling at my feet
He made me move faster, now learn how to be gentle

I don't mind if I got stuck when I'm with You (with you)
And I don't care being broken 'cause I'm with You (with you)
And I don't see the point of everyone when I'm with You (with you)
'Cause I'm losing my mind, losing myself when I'm with You

He said that I am weak yet I am strong I'm moving on...

music: dreams

2008-09-16T16:19:00.010+08:00

Here's another composition of mine. This song is entitled 'dreams'.

It's about a girl who loved someone who continuously hurts her but still, she managed to cling on until the day has come that the guy learnt to love her back more than what she expected.

Sorry I lack sleep when I recorded this song.

But I hope you'll enjoy listening to the song!

DREAMS

I hate to see you but I hate to leave you too.
There's no more crying 'cause I'm about to see the truth.

You never really cared for me
But I love you so...

And I want to know what life can bring me everyday
every hour of my life
And the things I thought was impossible has came true
and now I believe it's true, that dreams do come true
And no one can stop me from loving you

I keep on dreaming that you are here with me
But I kept running from the ghost of the past memories

I thought you never cared for me
'Cause I loved you so...

And I want to know what life can bring me everyday
every hour of my life
And the things I thought was impossible has came true
and now I believe it's true, that dreams do come true
And no one can stop me from loving you
dreams do come true
And no one...
no one can stop me from loving you

music: shadow

2008-09-15T11:35:00.010+08:00

This video is suppose-to-be an audio recording only, however; due to my lack of tech-knowledge, it appeared to be a video. To make the video useful, instead of recording my face, I focused the cam at the guitar so everyone can try the chords as well.

This is my own composition. I made it when I was on the verge of breaking down. [LOL] But I realised that my emotions create a better lyric.

I hope everyone will enjoy listening to this song. It's entitled 'shadow'.

Here's the lyrics.

SHADOW

I have been hiding behind my shadow to be at ease 'cause you're with someone else.

And now I feel so empty inside my heart keeps aching finding somebody else.

I still keep dreaming that we're together but memories are breaking and...

I just don't want to be hurt
I got to find a way to forget all about you.
And it's never that easy
'cause life has been so empty without you.

I've thrown the pictures of us together 'cause it's only making me lonely again.

And it's now over I got to be strong and move on with my life 'cause...

I just don't want to be hurt
I got to find a way to forget all about you.
And it's never that easy
'cause life has been so empty without you.

And it hurts me, breaks me to know you're together.

My feelings haunt to feel that you loved me never.

So...

I kept on hiding behind my shadow to feel at ease 'cause I'm setting you free.

I loved and got hurt.

2008-09-04T22:34:00.008+08:00

In my young adolescent years I never thought about crushes. I only admire my teachers who were very dedicated to the field they chose. I am just wondering what and where would I be 10 years from then. I did not entertain anyone who happened to like me. Some of them are nice, some are really weird, and some are campus crushes but they're more than rude and it's a fact. Until now I wonder how I've turned my heart to loving someone, when from elementary to high school I've been digging myself down to be left unnoticed by these jerks I come across the school.
I looked so assuming pushing guys away from me. In the first place, they never ask me or even speak to me. But I know they like me. It's not assuming per se. It's more like an instinct. And my friends' gossip of course. Girls do have a short meeting inside the washroom during break time and that's what I hated most, them, talking about their crushes while I'm sitting and waiting for them to come out. Those 'giggling moments' are still stuck on my memory and it keeps haunting me. But I can't deny the fact that most of the time those memories keep me smiling.

It was nearly high school graduation when I realised that I am also a girl. This guy made me feel very different. He's not like the other guys who would run after me during break time or keep on calling my house number and send messages on my hand phone until the break of dawn (who seemingly doesn't sleep at all). He's a very mysterious person. I admit he's a snob. And I liked him being a snob. It's challenging. And exciting. ;) Being in a relationship with someone older is a great experience. He knows how to handle certain situations where my blood starts clotting through my veins and words are just not coming out of my mouth. But the sad part is that he perfectly knows how to play with my heart. I loved. Really loved. But I also got hurt. Really hurt. The next relationships are pretty the same, the only difference is that I'm braver now. I fight fearlessly and love endlessly.

There's a saying, 'A brave man may not live forever but the cautious may not exist at all.'

So don't let fear bring you down, instead, face your fears and be an inspiration to others.

what i love to do

2008-08-17T17:53:00.009+08:00

I am never a fan of arts and photography until i officially became a photo staff of The La Sallian Publication (DLSU's english university paper). I had to learn multiple terms and their uses. My first photo assignment is to take a profile picture of one of the school athletes. I am not surprised to see a disappointed look from my editor when I asked the question, "How should the picture look like?". I felt really awkward asking him that question but I thought that I'd rather ask him earlier than give it a try and hear the words "Why didn't you ask me?" after submitting an unsatisfying photo. I do ask many questions and I often don't get his answers. But I always make it a point that when he asked me, I could give the right answer (which I have researched by the way). My photos are not always posted in the newspaper. In fact, I am being given many assignments but only a photo or two will pass his (my editor) standards. Giving much effort to be a good photo staff made me feel exhausted. I almost lose my concentration with studies and got more excited waiting for the result of the next newspaper layouts than the result of my exams. But soon, I learnt to balance everything and I've proven them that I can excel in both fields. My editor then thought that I am an asset to them which made me proud of myself. And now, I still am looking forward to being a well-known photographer someday but at the moment I am busy trying to alter my photos.